• Tracey N. Bonner

Granny on "Ghosting"

There is this very frightening dating trend that is sweeping the social scene and I'm here to tell you that it's getting scarier by the minute. It's called "Ghosting". What is "Ghosting", you ask? According to the Urban Dictionary "Ghosting" is defined as, "When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public."

We ALL have either "Ghosted" or been "Ghosted" before and it's not fun on either end. The one doing the ghosting has less anxiety being that they are the one who cuts off the relationship. They know their reasons for cutting off the situation so they are able to rest a little easier. Now, there are some anxieties that comes with being a "Ghoster" like running into the person or people who know the person that you've cut off, getting undesired phone calls or texts, and social media stalking. But that pales in comparison to how the person being "Ghosted" feels. They are left wondering what happened. Most of the time "Ghosting" happens suddenly and catches the other party off guard. They are left with thoughts of not being good enough or good looking enough or replaying something that they may have said or did.

But in my experience of being "Ghosted" I've found that it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Most of the time it's the other person's insecurities, lack of discipline, and inability to effectively communicate how they feel. If only they knew that communicating that something no longer served them their respect level would shoot through the roof. I can absolutely respect a man who can come to me and say he's no longer interested. It may sting a little but I don't hang on to the idea of them any longer than I should and I'm able to move on much easier. AND I won't hold a grudge against him. If we are to see each other in public, I might actually speak as opposed to rolling my eyes or saying something negative to or about them.

However, my Granny is right. When someone is cowardly enough to "Ghost" you, just MOVE ON. It doesn't take the sting away but it will help you in the long run. No need to ask them why because at the end of the day none of that really matters. Just continue to work on being the best you that you can be...continue to grow...continue to have a heart to love and someone will come along who will find the value in getting to know YOU!!! So, until then remember to DateYourselfGirl!!!


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