Single Belle! Hey girl hey! As the holidays approach, you may be feeling a mix of feelings, especially if you’re unattached. Part of you may feel excited for the holidays because you don’t have to worry about what to give to a partner, while another part of you may feel a bit sad because you wish you had to worry about what to give a partner. Either way, I hope you know that wherever you are and whatever you feel, you’re in the place you’re supposed to be.
As someone who has spent a number of holidays as a Single Belle, I’ve learned a thing or two about making the best of what you have. As I sat alone for most of the holiday season a few years ago, I decided that I would shift the narrative that you “needed” to be with someone for the holidays. Being with someone does not make or break this time (or any time of the year for that matter) for you. It’s time to own your holiday season, sis!
1). Follow or Create Traditions
You could choose to fall into your family’s traditions if they have them, or you could use this time to create your own! Make it a new yearly tradition to do some holiday crafts, choose a night to go see the holiday lights, or gather a group of friends to go ice skating. Use the time to perfect your holiday drink (My favs are cranberry orange margaritas, Christmas mimosas, spiked apple cider, and spiked hot chocolate), bake some holiday treats, or on Christmas morning make a lavish brunch for 1.
2). Decorate Your House
It doesn’t matter if you live alone or with roommates, decorating your home can put you in the holiday spirit. Make it fun and festive with bright lights and holiday llamas or sassy and sophisticated with rose gold and glitter. Put up an actual tree (you could do the small tabletop one, but I say go all out and put up a big one! Decorate the front door and/or porch and just have some fun with it! Check out Pinterest for some inspiration and go to Hobby Lobby where decor is usually 50% off!
3). Host a Holiday Party
Gathering family and friends at your home eliminates that sometimes awkward “I’m coming alone” feeling. Be the hostess with the mostest and send cute invitations, incorporate ugly sweaters, have everyone bring a dish, and watch movies or do some holiday karaoke. Be sure to have 2-3 people who will help you clean up so that you’re not stuck doing it alone at the end of the night!
4). Buy and Wrap Gifts for Yourself
Make a wish list and treat yo self! SN: Do not blow that budget baby girl! But either splurge on one thing that you normally wouldn’t or give yourself a few smaller ticket items. I know half the fun of the gift is the surprise element, so if you want that, buy yourself a monthly subscription box of something you love (they have everything from wellness, home, book, beauty, tea, clothes, wine, hobbies, etc) to keep the surprise going all year!
5). Use the Time to Slow Down and Reset
During the holidays, you usually get some kind of time off from work. Use that time to r-e-l-a-x. Take a bath, put on your fuzziest jammies and slippers, settle into your couch, and do whatever your heart desires. You might choose to binge watch holiday movies, journal, sleep, pray, read, etc. But whatever you do, release the pressure of making an agenda for the day and just go with the flow of what you’re feeling. Your body will thank you.
6). Set Boundaries
Yes. Enough said. Just kidding, but not really. Okay sis, set those boundaries. Just because it’s the holiday season, we aren’t giving people permission to walk all over us. If you don’t want your great aunt to talk about you being single, tell her ahead of time that you aren’t coming with anyone and that you’re actually okay with it. When your family starts pressuring you about having some babies, tell them that you’re not ready for that and then shift the conversation to something else. Or just walk away. We aren’t falling into holiday traps of “I can ask whatever I want because I’m in the holiday spirit.” Uh-uh. Shut it down.
Limit your social media usage. You know that during this time, engagements and baby announcements run rampant. So if that gets you down, don’t subject yourself to it. Decide on days you’ll stay off social or limit to a certain amount of time per day. Or if it really affects you, get off completely and then do a photo dump of all your holiday activities when you get back on.
7). Feel the Feelings
The last and best thing you can do for yourself is to feel whatever you’re feeling. If you’re lonely, sad, or just a bit down, embrace it. Name it. Don’t try to cast it aside because that usually just magnifies it. Remember that sadness and loneliness aren’t necessarily negative feelings. They are temporary and fleeting just like every other feeling. If you’re longing for a partner, use the time to figure out what you want in a partner and the places you need to grow in order to attract who you want. If you love being single, but the holidays still get you down, find your single friends and talk through it. Or better yet, talk to a therapist to figure out what’s behind it.
During this holiday season, own your experience Single Belle. You deserve everything your heart is after and you don’t have to wait until you have a partner to get it. Let us know what you decide to do below! People may need your ideas too because this is the perfect time to DateYourselfGirl!