Too "Busy" to Date
Summer is quickly approaching and your social calendar is getting filled to the brim along with the other responsibilities you already hold. Whether you’re planning to have a hot girl summer or not, if you’re out and about, chances are you’re going to be approached by someone who wants to get to know you better.
Which is amazing! Unless you’ve already resigned yourself to, “I’m too busy to date.” Girl, you have so many things going on and still desire to find your person which can be such a challenging thing to navigate. It’s time you took a step back to really figure this thing out because we can’t complain to our family and friends that we want to find someone and then simultaneously say, but I can’t because I don’t have time.
Those two things don’t align and you’ve got to gain some clarity before you put your perfectly pedicured toes out in these streets.
Evaluate whether or not you’re truly too busy.
Saying “I’m too busy” is usually something that happens to fly out of our mouths because honestly, we are all too busy. Truly, tell me someone you know that’s not too busy right now…I’ll wait! Okay, I won’t wait, but you get what I mean. Being busy is something that has become a cop out and it’s totally fine if you want to use it as that, but if you want to date and don’t have time, you either
A: need to give up the idea of dating right now until you can free your schedule or
B: shift your priorities so that you do have time to date.
Change your schedule.
Yeah sis, I hear you…”I shouldn’t have to change my schedule for a potential nobody.” But riddle me this–How are you gonna know what’s possible if you aren’t willing to change your schedule to give them an opportunity? Not saying that you need to go super drastic here, but can you reserve one night a week for two hours for a date night? And if you happen to not find a date, then you get a free self-care night instead! I’d call that a win win.
Decide how you’ll engage in the different components of dating.
There are so many pieces of dating that we lump them all into one action rather than separating them out. There’s finding someone, making plans, communicating up to the date, and then the actual date (which hopefully repeats because the person you chose to see is amazing!). You need to actively decide how and when you’re going to engage in these things. Some people love the thrill of the swipe left, swipe right of dating apps and will actively search for someone. Others hate dating apps and won’t engage in finding someone that way. You might decide to just wait for someone to approach you rather than shooting your shot. Or you might commit to actively seeking a date by approaching 2 people a week. Whatever you decide, roll with it FOR YOU. You don’t have to do what anyone else is doing. This goes for the other components of dating too. How are you making plans, what’s your communication look like, how are you clearing your schedule (see above) so that you can have time when you get asked out?
If you find someone, invite them to join you.
When your schedule is stacked and you seriously cannot find a few hours a week, rather than trying to find dedicated time initially (especially if you don’t know whether or not it will work out), invite your potential mate to join you with something you already have planned. Tell them to come with you to run errands, take an exercise class together in lieu of you going alone, do a lunch date on your break since you need to eat anyway, or even double date if you planned to hang with a friend (tell them to bring someone to tag along too!).
If you’re ready to date, then make sure you’re giving yourself space for it to enter your life. And if you aren’t ready to date, then be okay with making the decision that it’s low on your priority list. Either is fine sis! Just stop contradicting yourself, mmm kay?
Regardless of whatever you decide boo, life has funny way of shaking things up, so why not try to prepare a little and DateYourselfGirl!