Master the Art of Dating Yourself ...Intentionally This Time!

Alright ladies, there comes a point in every woman’s life when she realizes that dating herself is not taboo. And it's also not just about routine spa days, solo brunches, or buying flowers on Valentine’s Day. It becomes something deeper. More intentional. More necessary. It becomes about rediscovering who you are outside of your responsibilities, relationships, titles, and expectations.

I believe May is the perfect month for that rediscovery. The weather breaks from chilly to

warmth. Flowers bloom unapologetically. It's the time of the year where nature reminds us that growth doesn't have to be loud to be beautiful. And maybe that is your reminder too. Listen, you are allowed to evolve without announcing it. You are allowed to romance your own life in innovative ways without needing validation. For many women, “dating yourself” can become routine. Dinner alone become the sandard. Going to see a movie by yourself no longer feels daunting . A massage appointment is absolutely normal. And while those things are wonderful, sometimes we need innovative ways to reconnect with ourselves emotionally, creatively, spiritually, and even playfully.

This month, I challenge you to think beyond traditional self-care and ask yourself, “When was the last time I truly surprised myself?" Here are a few new ways to date yourself this May:

• Date Your Mind-Read books that challenge you to look inward. My therapist recommended I read, Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles by Dr's. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. It's been enlightening to say the least and has helped me to redefine what singleness means and how to navigate it. I can truly say that investing in consistent therapy has been a game changer. A woman who is emotionally and mentally evolving becomes magnetic in ways beauty alone can never accomplish.

• Take Yourself on a Curiosity Date-Instead of going somewhere comfortable, choose something unfamiliar. Visit an art exhibit you normally would skip. Attend a wine tasting alone. Take a dance class. Go to a jazz lounge and sit in a booth and enjoy the melodies. Explore a new hiking trail. The goal is discovery.

• Create a “Soft Life” Evening at Home-Turn your phone on Do Not Disturb. Cook a beautiful meal for yourself using real dishes, candles, music, and intention. Wear the “too nice” outfit sitting in your closet and stop waiting for someone else to create romance for you. Create the romance that feels intentional and not laborious.

• Go Somewhere Without Explaining Yourself-There is something incredibly healing about moving through the world without having to perform. Spend a day where no one needs anything from you like a rooftop lounge during happy hour just to enjoy the ambiance, weekend farmers market, or a solo staycation at an Airbnb or boutique hotel. No over explaining. No emotional labor. Just be present and in the moment.

• Take Yourself on a Dream Date-GO TO GREECE GIRL! No more waiting for that man to take you on your dream trip. Take it from me, you will be waiting forever. Sometimes the first step toward manifestation is allowing yourself to emotionally experience it before it arrives.

• Romance Your Future Self-Buy something for the woman you are becoming, not just the woman you currently are. Start that catering business. You making plates as a side hustle can truly become a legitimate business. Open the CD account or learn how to invest in stocks. Build sustainable wealth for yourself to be able to do the things you want to do and not just have to do. Pursue that degree. You have always wanted more growth and development but didn't want to interrupt your work flow but I say take advantage of the opportunity to be the better educated version of yourself. Be coachable.

The truth is, dating yourself is not about isolation. It is about cultivation. It is about learning how to create joy that is not dependent upon whether someone texts back, chooses you, stays, or understands your worth. Because when a woman truly learns how to love her own company, she stops begging for spaces where she is only tolerated. She stops confusing attention for intentionality. She stops abandoning herself to maintain relationships that do not align. Instead, she becomes the experience.

So if you haven't already, use what's left of May to stop waiting for permission to enjoy your life. I'ma say it again (AHEM) BUY THOSE FLOWERS! BOOK THE RESERVATION! TAKE THE VACATION! PUT ON THAT RED DRESS! AND CELEBRATE YOURSELF TODAY, not just when someone else decides you are worthy of celebration. Because life is short and anyting can derail your future dreams...an illnesss, a loss of employment...a loss of a loved one. So the most important relationship you will ever nurture is the one you have with yourself. And trust me…YOU deserve to be dated well so remember to DateYourselfGirl!