Updated: Feb 2
After all the growth and development you've put in to become this wonderfully whole woman, after all the counseling sessions spent on a couch telling a therapist your deepest, darkest secrets, after reading self-help books about how to begin again, after you've written words of affirmation on post-it notes plastered all over your house...What next? What happens after you've done all that work and you encounter the reality of becoming a better person? The harsh reality of becoming a whole individual is that there may be many days where you're smiling and truly enjoying life, outwardly, but when you're behind closed doors you are forced to stare loneliness deep in its eyes. See, when you finally decide to make the decision to take your life back and build a stronger you, you will begin to lose lovers and even some friends. Texts & calls will become few and far between. And YES your desire to be loved, touched, and adored will become stronger while the actuality of that happening wains as every waking moment flies by. But why is that? Well, I'm here to tell you that the price of becoming a better YOU is costly and it is in these moments that you will begin to encounter your destiny's distractions. Distractions are those things that keep you preoccupied with thoughts of doubt and will even have you engaging in behavior(s) that throw your whole game plan off course.
If you really want to get to the root of what is keeping you from your destiny start to assess the number of obstacles that begin to come your way. Maybe you are looking to climb up that corporate ladder but that one co-worker cannot seem to stop bringing drama to the work space or maybe you are looking to become financially independent but your car begins to give you problems so your savings start to deplete or in my case I am working on becoming my whole self so that I may make better decisions, as it pertains to dating, but that one guy creeps into my life that resembles all the things I like but know isn't best for helping me reach my final destination of happiness. I know I'm not the only woman who has a weakness for a man who says all the right things, touches all the right places. and awakens something within you that you thought was hidden from even the most accomplished explorer. I am going through this very thing. Out of the blue a man from my past has come back into my life and has sent my world spiraling into abyss of distraction. But thank goodness I have some really great friends and I have the wherewithal to ask myself three very important questions. It has become apart of my daily routine because, with anything in life, you must properly assess a situation to have a successful outcome.
1. How does this person complement my lifestyle? Basically, this is to assess whether or not this person's goals, aspirations, character, and personality compliment you in such a way that doesn't distract you from your goal.
2. Does this person bring about more drama than peace? Is there unnecessary, negative energy that comes with being with this individual keeps you from focusing on your day to day tasks? Sure, every relationship has its ups and downs and will go through some tough times but when these ups and downs begin to consistently knock you off your game that person may not be the right fit for helping you reach your destination.
3. Am I compromising everything I worked so hard to become just to have a piece of love?
Your character is all you have and when someone causes you to deviate from your best self then maybe that person isn't who God destined you to be with because quite frankly being your best self is something sacred and spiritual.
So, I will continue to fight those distractions that are trying so desperately to throw me off track. I will continue to do my inner work and surround myself by people that pour positivity into my life and I encourage you to do the same. Your life has too much greatness in store for you to allow a distraction to keep you from your destiny. So stay strong and remember to DateYourselfGirl!!!