What Are You Waiting For? The Time is NOW!
Okay sis, it’s time that we really stop looking in the future and instead focus on the now. I get it, I’m a dreamer too, so living in the future of what ifs is fun, but given that it's the midpoint in the year, it’s time to start looking at the last six months of the year to figure out what you really want to do.
I’ve heard women say things like, “I really want to work towards getting a house, but what if the person I get with already has one?” or “I’m ready to go back to school for a higher degree or change career fields, but what if when my future partner and I have kids, we decide it’s best for me to be a stay at home mom?” or “I will wait to go to The Maldives with my future partner.”
Meanwhile…ain’t no partner in sight. Sis. It’s time to pull it together.
Ladies, let’s stop putting off our own gratification for our relationship status. When you do this, it makes your happiness contingent upon something that, let’s be real, might take longer than you thought it would or may not happen at all. There are so many things wrong with delaying your goals in anticipation of a partner:
You two may not want the same things or may want the same things, but in a different order.
If you don’t go after it now, you may decide to compromise later and never get what you wanted. This can bring about resentment but the cause of that is honestly you just being mad at yourself for not going after what you wanted in the first place. Let’s just not do this, kk?
They may already have what you want.
At face value this sounds like a good idea, but if you want it for yourself now, why would you wait to get it? And will it truly be what you want or will it be the version of it that your partner wanted that you’ll just have to mesh yourself into?
Who knows how long you could be waiting?
I think we all like to think that our future partner is just around the corner, the next person we will date, but in reality, we don’t know how long we will be single or how many people we will have to get through to find them. With that being said, are you truly ready to wait till some undetermined time in the future?
And the list goes on. Let’s go back to the things I heard before and I’ll offer you an alternative perspective:
You get a house. You get in a relationship. You both have houses.
Awesome! You’ve gotten to make your house yours and enjoy the time you had living in it. Continue to live in your own houses until you decide you’re ready to move in together. At that point, rent one out and use the money to pay the mortgage on the other. Or rent one out and save the money. Or sell one and make a profit. Either way, you both owning houses ends up giving both of you a more stable financial position.
You go to school for a higher degree or switch careers (which you might meet future bae there!). You get in a relationship. You decide to have children. You become a stay at home mom.
Yay! You got a chance to live out your dream before having kids and you were happier than staying the job you disliked. Now as you raise your kids, you get to tell that story instead of a story of regrets of what you should have done.
You go to The Maldives or whatever place is on your travel list. You get in a relationship. They want to go to The Maldives too.
Perfect! Show them all of your favorite places. Stay at one of the places you saw while you were there for the first time and explore new places together. Experiencing a place single is not the same as experiencing it in a relationship so enjoy going to a place you love with a person you love.
These are just examples and these may not be your things, but you catch my drift. Would you rather be person A with the what ifs or person B with the experiences and goals achieved? I’m guessing the latter! While being single, you have more time, you can be more focused, and you get to do what you want without influence. So I’d advise you to take advantage boo! You get one life to live and sitting at home while you wait around for someone to come along is not the way to live it!
Of course, being in a relationship has its perks, but if you are embracing singlehood (which you should!), it has its perks too! When it comes to the goals you have for your life, now is the perfect time for you to work towards them. So go ahead sis, DateYourselfGirl, figure out what you want for yourself right now, and put your time and energy towards getting it! You’ll be so happy you did!